Although I have no albums of his, I like Yankovic’s music. So one day I was trimming around the planks and logs that enclose my wife’s several gardens of tomatoes and green beans and other plants I have not yet identified (a few might be Brussel sprouts, but they look like Sci-fi aliens to me). While trimming, I was reminded of another day, longer ago, when after getting home from Exwork I was inspired by both the good and the bad events of the shift and posted on Facebook to my fellow workers a rewrite of one of my favorite songs. I meant to learn the chords on the guitar so I could play it live by myself, but I didn’t.
For your pleasure or displeasure, and in humble tribute to Weird Al, here is “Taking Care of Garden” sung to the tune of Taking Care of Business by BTO:
(Cranky guitar and drums prelude)
We get up every morning
From our phone-clock’s warning
Turn the TV on to check out the news
Brew some coffee for our waking
But there’s clearly no mistaking
That really we need more hours of snooze
If your car doesn’t fail
You can get to work in Hell
And burn your gristle in most every way
If you ever get upset
Look at us we’re drenched in sweat
We love to work at loading all day
‘Cause we be taking care of garden
Every day
Taking care of Garden
Every way
We’ve been taking care of Garden
It’s all fine
Taking care of Garden
But don’t go overtime
Watch out
(Cranky guitar short interlude)
If it were easy as liftin’
We wouldn’t have to mention
Our walking rash between our butt cheeks
But we are always hurtin’
Scratching more is almost certain
From all the trucks we’ll unload this week
People see us having fun
Just a-working in the sun
Tell them to get out of our way
It’s shoppers we avoid
‘Cause we’re not self-employed
We have to work at something all day
So we be taking care of Garden
Every day
Taking care of Garden
Every way
We be taking care of Garden
It’s all fine
Taking care of Garden
But don’t go overtime
Pity
(Extended cranky guitar interlude)
(Mixed various verbal noises)
(Repeat first six stanzas)
(Fade out with “Taking care of Garden” over and over.)
Yeah, some of it doesn’t make sense, but this is what I sing when I listen to that song. Get on YouTube and check it out: I believe every syllable is exact.
