Many relationships today have taken a non-traditional path. Some couples live in different locations, often separated by many states. The couple sees each other face-to-face only rarely. These non-traditional marriages can be successful, although they are more difficult to maintain and succeed.
Marriage is especially difficult to successfully accomplish when most couples’ lives are so complex.
There is a reason mothers want their sons and daughters to marry others who come from traditional, stable families. Statistics show that couples raised in a traditional lifestyle have a greater chance of having a successful marriage than many modern couples who want everything immediately that their parents struggled for years to obtain. This is unrealistic and puts the couple on a path of frustration to reach unrealistic goals. Newlyweds need time to make agreements where both of them can reach long-term goals. First, the couple has to evaluate the positives and negatives they are bringing into the relationship.
If either one had a strong sexual relationship with another person in the past, that relationship must be severed in order to solidly establish the current relationship. The husband and wife must be in an exclusive relationship with their partner. A third party in a marriage is a poison pill. The only way to salvage the arrangement is for the involved person to end the outside affair. Marriage, like any relationship, takes serious discipline. Honesty with one’s mate and respect are necessary for a future together.
The woman increases her possibility of success in marriage if she does not already have children either from a previous marriage or while unwed. On the other hand, the couple increases their chance of success if they are churchgoers, have four-year degrees, are 22 years old or older, and the couple has a $50,000 income before marriage.
This traditional knowledge has been noted by individuals realizing the impact their lifestyle has on enhancing their chances of success or minimizing it in a marriage. Regardless, marriage changes individuals as they are now a couple, no longer independent people. They have to consider another person’s feelings and thoughts before making decisions that impact both lives.
The wise woman or man learns from what takes place around them. A successful marriage is a complex and difficult feat to accomplish. The couple must learn to change, to forsake some of their individual wants for the benefit of the relationship with their partner. They must establish the priorities they want in a relationship and are willing to sacrifice personal desires for the sake of developing a strong, healthy relationship.
Newly married couples should study marriages that have been successful. They will realize that a spouse usually considers their mate’s concerns and values before coming to any conclusions. Both partners have to discuss all the possibilities before arriving at a decision where both can see the benefits. Often, a decision might please one more than the other. A mature couple will decide that the other person makes the next one. Fairness is required in the decision-making process for it to satisfy both parties.
When children enter the scene, an honest discussion needs to take place to get the mother and father on the same page for raising children. Healthy and well-behaved children are the anchor that keeps the marriage stable. Disagreement will sink the marriage and undermine the children’s mental health.
A strong, healthy marriage is the most important institution for raising healthy children. A traditional marriage and family are the most effective means of keeping our nation strong.
Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers and blogs, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN and the latest book entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can see many of Dr. Maglio’s articles at www.drmaglioblogspot.com.
