The line between parents and children has been blurred. Permissive, psychological nonsense has devastated our adult discipline in our homes and schools. Instead of being adult role models for the children, currently, they are supposed to be best friends.
You hear parents say “Hey Bud” to their child and teachers say, “You go, girl” to a student in their class.
Many parents are no longer in charge in their own homes mostly believing that their children will resent them for not treating them as equals. The problem is that they are NOT equals. Parents have many years of life experience that their children do not have.
Teachers are in the same situation. They are older and more experienced than their students. The higher education they have provides them with more academic and general intellectual knowledge than their younger students. These are only some important differences that make parents and teachers more prepared to lead. Students are immature in many ways, even though they may be brilliant in a particular subject. They are still inexperienced in many areas that eventually have to be filled in.
Once a teacher attempts to be equal or make friends with students, they elevate the students and lower their authority. In order to help students learn as much as possible, teachers have to be worthy role models. They deserve to be emulated for their knowledge and the dignified way they carry themselves. When a teacher lowers herself to the level of the students, it opens the floodgates of unnecessary trouble.
Many students become emboldened to test their relationship with their teacher. They might test whether they can be treated as an equal or even control the relationship. This can be disastrous not only to the teacher maintaining respect but control in the classroom. Furthermore, the reputation as a knowledgeable person to teach the coursework might be undermined. The most qualified person should teach the course. Any teacher must earn the right to teach any course by demonstrating knowledge and ability in the subject manner.
Attempting to make friends with students can only undermine the teacher’s knowledge and professionalism. Eventually, the respect given to a new teacher erodes as the teacher welcomes too much friendship, which washes away the deference of a dedicated academic teacher. Once a teacher sacrifices the special status given to a professional teacher, it is virtually impossible to regain respect.
A teacher, parent, or other dignified adult should not belittle their status as an adult by trading it to become a mere “cool” friend. Friends are far below the respected adult who everyone views as a successful human being.
Respected adults should preserve their accolades and not trade them in by pretending to be friends with children instead of projecting their well-earned dignity.
Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers and blogs, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN and the latest book entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can see many of Dr. Maglio’s articles at www.drmaglioblogspot.com.
