Many things do not work according to the expected script. Most children act as they feel at the moment and not according to the authority’s wishes. The reality is children must be trained according to the way those around them want them to act. Most children are stubborn and want what they want and often get it. They learn many methods of manipulating adults in various settings. In other words, they become sophisticated manipulators which makes parenting more complicated. Since the children have various authority figures in their lives with various expectations it confuses the parents as well as the child.
The reality is that parents should be the ultimate authority figures for their children. They need to find outside programs that agree with their goals and methods of raising their children. This means interviewing the directors of the particular group who will be dealing with their child daily. Speaking to other parents whose children have been in the program for a substantial amount of time will give a more comprehensive picture of the program.
It takes great effort to research programs to attain a good fit for the child’s development but will be time well spent. The reality is the child will often spend more time in school and afterschool programs then at home. Parents should realize their child is being influenced or even molded by these programs which can be good or bad depending on their parental and school philosophy being in sync.
Parents should be careful where they are placing their children even for just a few hours in a daycare, all day in a school, or in an afterschool activity. Difficulties for a child can be prevented by the leader of the children’s specific activity. This usually takes place by the adult who has the responsibility of the child’s wellbeing, which is the parent, grandparent or guardian.
“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Anticipating what could go wrong and preventing it from happening is the primary mission of the person in charge of any group.
A conscientious person as the leader of any group is essential for the high functioning and safety of any well-run program. Leaving your child in the hands of a program leader who has an excellent history of supervising groups of children is essential for the peace of mind of the child’s guardian and the growth of the child.
It takes extra effort to find the right setting for your child, but it is worthwhile for the health and safety of the child. This does not change as the child moves up in the grades in school. Parents continuously need to keep a sharp eye on what is going on in their child’s school life. Too many parents leave their child’s education totally in the hands of the local school, which might not be a wise decision. Check and see if your child is learning what you would expect any child of their age to know. Have them show you what they are learning in math. Is it more advanced than last year? Have them read aloud to you to measure their reading ability. Be sure your child can write a story for you that makes sense. Do not take for granted that your child is learning what you expect they are. You might be mistaken.
If chosen correctly, the decision of a school and after-school programs will generally enhance the future safety and positive learning of the child. If not, it can result in a situation that can affect the child’s emotional and mental capacity as well as future learning, so choose carefully where your child will be spending their time.
Domenick Maglio, PhD. is a columnist carried by various newspapers and blogs, an author of several books and owner/director of Wider Horizons School, a college prep program. Dr. Maglio is an author of weekly newspaper articles, INVASION WITHIN and the latest book entitled, IN CHARGE PARENTING In a PC World. You can see many of Dr. Maglio’s articles at www.drmaglioblogspot.com.
